What’s Really Keeping You From Putting Yourself Out There

by | May 18, 2022 | Podcast

You love what you do in your business…who you help, and how you help them, but there’s just one thing you’re still dealing with…putting yourself out there. Sharing about what you do, showing up consistently, building an online presence. You know you need to do these things to have the business you want to have but you’re also feeling a block towards it. It feels scary, hard, or just not appealing at all. If this sounds like you, then you may be battling a fear of visibility. In this episode, I’m going to break down what it means to have a fear of visibility and how you can move through it to show up for your business.

“Just give it a try and see what happens when you move past that fear and do the thing.” – Shawn Mynar

“When something doesn’t feel the way you want it to feel, you have the power to shift that too.” – Shawn Mynar

“You are the CEO of your business, and you’re the CEO of your mind.” – Shawn Mynar

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FULL TRANSCRIPT BELOW: (please note, transcripts are auto-generated so you can expect errors in grammar, punctuation, and spelling)

Do you love what you do in your business, you know, who you help and how you help them. But there’s just one thing, you’re still dealing with putting yourself out there, sharing about what you do showing up consistently building an online presence. You know, you need to do these things to have the business you want to have, but you’re also feeling a block towards it, it feels scary, hard, or just not really that appealing. If this sounds like you, then you may be battling a fear of visibility. In this episode, I’m going to break down what it means to have a fear of visibility, and how you can move through it to really start showing up for your business. Let’s dive in. Hey, hey there, friends, and welcome back to the unstuck entrepreneur podcast. So, so grateful to have you checking out this episode, and all the other episodes that are calling to you, as I put them out every single week, just for you, it means so much to have you supporting this show. Now, this episode, we’re taking it back to my mindset roots. And I’m just really want to have an episode to give you some encouragement, and advice on a specific fear that I think quite a few of you are dealing with, especially as a new business owner. So most of you know by now that I love talking business strategy. And we’ve had quite a few episodes over the past few weeks, really talking about that strategy. But I love even more talking about the mindset and energy shifts that are required for your business. Because really the strategy, the stuff that’s really fun to talk about that a lot of business coaches do talk about a lot. That doesn’t mean anything, if you aren’t, mentally and energetically ready, and showing up in that way, as a business owner. So that’s what we’re gonna work on today. And really talking about a fear, like a specific fear that I haven’t talked about yet on the show. And really what if I think about it, I really think that this fear is kind of at the crux of a lot of the other fears that we have as business owners, and that we’ve talked about here on the show. Like if I really boil it down, if you really think about it, I think this one is kind of it in a lot of ways. So that’s what we’re going to chat about today, starting with a quote from Theodore Roosevelt, it is hard to fail. But it is worse to never have tried to succeed. If I really think about my journey to where I’m at today, and now being almost 10 years into my business. I think this is really summing up how I approached my business this entire time, it is hard to fail. Yes, of course, no one wants to go there. No one wants to experience that. But it is worse to never have tried to succeed. And like think about that, what would it be like to go through your entire life or even spend the next year or the next six months, stalled out and not doing what you really want to be doing? And not achieving the success that could be right there for you. It could literally be one more door that you have to open. But never experiencing that because you’re too afraid to fail, or in this case, what we’re going to talk about today, you’re too afraid to show up, you’re too afraid to be seen. And do you really want to continue down that road? And

do you want to look back? I don’t know why. But this is always something that is so clear in my mind, and really is what drives me forward basically every day. Do you really want to look back a year from now or 10 years from now or 20 years from now or on your deathbed and know you never tried and know that you got so caught up in what could happen and all the negative things that could go down that you never tried to succeed? No one wants that. I certainly don’t. And like I said, this is really what has been driving me my entire business now almost 10 years down the road. And so I thought this was a perfect quote to share with you today as we move into talking about the fear of visibility. Like I said, I think this is something that is plaguing a lot of business owners, all business owners, but especially the ones that are just getting started, which I know is a lot of you listening today. It’s this fear of visibility, like I mentioned, but we can also call it the fear of being seen the fear of putting yourself out there the fear of showing up. And this really showcases itself a lot, especially today, in building an online presence, which is becoming more and more and more important, pretty much by the day, as a business owner and any business owner, it does not have to just be someone who wants an online business these days, it is all businesses, they need to have an online presence. And so like for instance, even if you are a gym owner, and you have a gym, or you have a practice where you see clients or patients, one on one in your brick and mortar place, you still need an online component of your business, you need a website, you need a social media presence. This is how people find you these days, even if they are local people, they are still going on to Google, they’re still going on to social media to find you. So we all let’s just do this blanket statement, I’m willing to go there. With this blanket statement, we all need an online presence. For instance, today, I was just looking for a new place to go get an oil change for my specific car, it has to be a specific place for my specific car. So I went on to Google, and I found a place and then I went onto their website to learn more about them. And yet, it wasn’t a great website. You know, they’re a car shop. So probably not going to be something that they really put a whole lot of money or time into to getting this beautiful, amazing interactive website. But it was enough for me to know what they do to know what they stand for, to know their values and to know they’re gonna take care of my car. And we all need that, whether you want to have an online business, or you have a physical business, I got on a tangent there. But I think that’s important, because we all just need to wrap our heads around the fact that we have to show up online on a regular consistent basis. Okay, so now that we’ve got that out of the way, then we can start to understand where this fear of visible ability comes up. Because the online presence, the online space, is becoming even more important, which means and you know, especially if you’re someone who has a service based business, then your face needs to be shown now, does that mean that your face has to be plastered all over everything for you to have a service based business? No, but you are the brand, it is your business as a service based business, you are the business. So no, you don’t have to go show up with your face every single day all over the place. Because I know that’s a big block for a lot of people, but you are the face of your business. And with that, and with the ever growing importance of having an online presence for your business, there is even more of a fear of visibility of being seen.

And it’s just adding another layer of resistance for you to get through in order to have the business that you want to have. Because now not only do we have this deep seated fear of visibility, which I’ll go over where that came from. But we now we also have to really put ourselves kind of on this stage in a way to have the presence that we need to have in order to have the business we want to have. So it’s really amplified at this point. And we’ll continue to go that way as obviously, online things and social media things and website things and all the others these other places that we have to show up to have a business as that continues to grow and expand. So will our need to show up in those places, which then can create even more blocks and resistance if you still are dealing with this fear. So how it is going to show up it really stems from this place of being afraid of not being liked. Being afraid of being rejected. Being afraid of being made fun of a failing in front of people of making a mistake in front of people, a fear of being judged a fear of being talked about behind your back. And in a lot of ways, like I said, this is really at the crux for so many other things that we’re dealing with. As a business owner when we talk about the mindset work that we have to do, because it can come across as impostor syndrome, as procrastination as perfectionism, as you know, the person that takes all the business courses and just as constantly learning how to do the strategy of business, but then never doing anything with that, I see that a lot. And that’s why I’m so adamant about talking about this mindset and energy work, because you’re just going to be wasting a ton of money over and over and over again, as you continue to learn all the strategy, but then never do anything with it. Because of what we’re going to talk about today. It could look like stalling, wavering in what you want to do with your business and how you want it to look and where you want it to go, you know, bringing up all these questions. That’s really kind of the stall tactic. It can look like a lack of confidence, and clarity. There’s so many ways, so many blocks that we have when it comes down to our business. That really, if we peel back the layers of the onion, like I talked about is necessary. As part of this mindset work. As we peel back those layers. It comes down to this fear of visibility, which like I said, encompasses that not being liked the fear of rejection, being made fun of failing, making a mistake, that all falls under this fear of visibility. And I think now we just need to all agree that we probably have this to some degree. I mean, how possibly can you get through all of your adolescent years, all of your teenage years, without developing a fear of visibility at this point,

I truly don’t know if that is even possible. Because as I’m sure you can guess, this fear of visibility starts from a very young age, most likely, it stems from most likely a time when you were made fun of maybe in school or with your friends or with your family members, you’re made fun of you were laughed at you were bullied, you were called on and you got the wrong answer, and everyone was looking at you. And I can bet that most of us can think back to a time when we were young where that happened. Maybe you were bullied. And now that has really been stuck in your memory, maybe you got called on and you made a fool of yourself in front of the entire class. Or maybe you did get laughed at in the middle of the cafeteria, when you dropped your food, you know, like all of those possible scenarios would be the start of a fear of visibility. Because when that event happened, you had an emotion that was triggered, that didn’t feel good, or probably really sucked, you were embarrassed. You were ashamed. You got hot and sweaty, and you just wanted to crawl into a hole and never see anyone again. Probably a lot of us have been there. And you know, I’ll tell you my truth. This is just being totally honest with you guys. My fear of visibility, it still shows up today. And it specifically shows up. I am very aware of this. It shows up when I’m on other people’s zoom calls with a group of strangers. And I get this fear of speaking in front of them of like, I might say the wrong thing I might mess up. I might fumble my words. I might have a question that is totally dumb. And so it manifests in me not speaking up not asking a question if I have it, not sharing something that I think would be relevant because I’m afraid it won’t be relevant. This still happens to me today. And as a lot of you know, I have led at this point, hundreds of my own zoom calls where I’m the one talking on the Zoom call, basically the entire time. I’ve done at least now over a dozen webinars with hundreds of people on live. Obviously I show up every day, in my business, online on social media all All over the place, I have this podcast, I’ve been podcasting for over seven years now, I have a blog, I’ve had that for 10 years, I have no problem with any of this. But I get on to someone else’s call, where I’m not the expert on that topic, I don’t really know for sure what I’m talking about, obviously, usually I’m there to learn. And I go back to that place where I’m in school. And I get called on and say the wrong thing, and get laughed at. They happened, it happened to me. And I know, there’s probably so many more situations where that was my experience. And it made me very shy, it made me very reserved. And then you know, going through and getting into my high school years, I was able to become less shy and reserved, which was great. But then I got into the trap of just wanting to be liked and wanting to fit in, and not giving myself or allowing myself to find my own kind of path. My own expression of who I really was, I basically just tried to blend in. And I share this because I think a lot of you can relate. I mean, I know for a fact, when I do host zoom meetings, there are definitely people who are afraid to be visible, afraid to show up afraid to share, afraid to ask questions. And that is totally understandable. And of course, I

don’t push them to, if that’s not something that’s comfortable for them. So just know that in other situations where it’s not my call, I am that person. And so I totally can relate and I totally get it. And I want you to know, and I have made sure that I know for myself, that it is natural to have those thoughts, and feelings and to have them still show up as an adult, because you haven’t done any work to separate the two or to acknowledge what’s going on or to find your power in this situation. And we’ll talk about that coming up. And for me, I’ve done the work to find this empowerment when it comes to my business and showing up for my business. And I’ll share how I did that. But have I done that yet for my personal life for when I am on in these situations where I find this fear of visibility coming up? Not yet. Nope. And that’s why I still am dealing with it. So I guess also a reminder that it can be it will show up in different places, I guess. And it can be something and will be something that you have to work on in separate situations of your life. It’s not something that all of a sudden is just gone. Once you do decide to show up in your business, or once you do decide to show up on other people’s zoom calls, or whatever it is. It’s something that needs to take place, often and consistently and in different areas of your life. Now, how did I get to the point where I don’t feel this way? In my business, I don’t have any nervousness when I do start my Zoom calls, or I’m on webinars, nothing like that. I’m very confident. I’m very clear. I’m excited. I love doing webinars, especially live ones, believe it or not, I love it. And how did I get there? Because if you would have told me that this is what I was going to be doing. You know, back in my high school days, I would have thought you were absolutely crazy. There is no way I would be able to do such a thing and to be in front of hundreds of people live and openly sharing and talking and discussing and teaching and all this stuff without these fears. So what did I do? And here’s the honest truth. And I know as soon as I say it, you’re all going to grow and and be like Oh, of course she’s talking about this again. But we’ve got to really get this point ingrained in all of you so that you can start doing it too. Here’s what I did.

I showed up scared. I had these fears. Initially. All of this same stuff came up as I was hitting publish on my first blog post which I will never forget how nerve racking that was when I did send off my first email newsletter to my list. When I did post on social media for the first time. I had those fears of being visible of being seen of being made fun of of being judged. I had all that, and I still had it after my second, my third, my fourth, my 10th, my 20th post. But then it dissipated, it dissolved. Because the thing that I was afraid of happening, didn’t happen. In fact, the opposite happened. Instead of getting made fun of or getting laughed at or being judged, I was getting messages of praise for my work, and of gratitude for how I was helping people. And when that happened, that proved my fear wrong, that was my way of proving my fear wrong, which if you’ve listened to the show for a while, then you know, that is my number one tip, and tool and tactic to help you get over your fears is to prove it wrong. And so do you have a case in the past that you can reference about when that fear didn’t actually happen? Or can you do the thing and realize you’re still okay? Realize it didn’t come to fruition, or realize that maybe it didn’t, it wasn’t that bad. And it’s something that you can live with, in order to reach your goals. And that’s the case for my situation. By putting myself and my work out there. Even when I was scared, I was able to see, I was able to realize that it’s not always the case that if I put myself out there, I will be made fun of or judged or laughed at, there’s actually another thing that could happen, that will most likely happen more often happen. And it’s one that feels really good, knowing you’re helping someone else, knowing people are really valuing your work. That feels pretty amazing. And so amazing that it was worth the risk of occasionally, you know, getting judged in order to help that other person in order to be there. And to provide this work. That was actually really reaching the right people. And of course, that’s not to say that I’ve never gotten hate or complaints, or bad reviews or all that stuff. It’s just part of having an online presence. So just know, right here right now, you will get the haters, they are literally out there. And they’ve made it their full time job to spread hate of people that they don’t even know. So just, that’s helpful. I think once I realized that that was going to happen regardless, and now I can tell you, so you know that and you can be prepared because it’s going to happen. And yeah, that happens. And I would be lying. If I tried to say that it doesn’t affect me whatsoever. That little voice still comes back in. But it is so much weaker. Now it doesn’t have a, an emotional vibration to it. It’s just like that voice that then because it’s so weak, I can easily make that shift, to decide not to give it that energy, give it that power. And I can move on. And this is all stuff that happened with time that happened by continuing to face my fears, and do it anyway, so that I could prove that voice wrong. And in that process, not only am I proving the voice wrong, proving those stories or beliefs wrong, but I’m also finding other truths that are way more valuable. And way more important. In this case, it

was Oh, when I put myself out there and share my work. I get praise and I get gratitude for doing the work that I do. And so that became my story that became my truth. And it got easier and easier. And that’s why you see happen so often with those of you listening, who are new business owners, and did take the leap to put your work out there, even though it was scary. And this is the case for pretty much all of us. Sure there are people who don’t have this fear of visibility, aren’t worried or scared about any of this. And they can just easily put themselves out there and not think twice about it. But most of us are in this category that when we start it feels uncomfortable and it feels scary. But those of you who have done it who have faced the fear And did it anyway, what I see in you is the same thing that happened to me, that response dissipates, that fear dissolves, and you are really able to show up in the way that you want to for your business much quicker than you would expect. Because you have just taken that initial scary step to prove your fear wrong. So that’s the first thing. And I, as I said, I know you guys are like, Yeah, of course, you say that all the time. But it’s just hard, I just want you to give it a try. Just give it a try and see what happens when you move past that fear, and, and do the thing. And then there’s one other thing that I just want you to try on, I want you to remember, and especially when you are in those moments, see what happens when you come back to this idea. So you have a situation, and then you have the response to the situation. So there’s an event that happened. And then there’s this emotion or this feeling and these thoughts that came up in you, because of that event that happened. And a lot of times in our minds in our bodies, we continue to think that they are one in the same this thing happens. And then this is how I feel, this is what I think this is what I experience. But in all actuality, they are two completely separate things. There’s the event, and then there’s your response to that event. One, you don’t have any control over, and one you have complete control over. So you can’t change that event that happened, that thing that happened happened, you can’t change that, and events will continue to happen, that are going to happen regardless. But you do have the power over the response you have towards that event. And that’s the case for everything that happens in your life, there is an event and there is the response. And the response is really your emotion, your feeling, and the thoughts that come up because of that event. But they are two different things. And you can separate them so that those events don’t trigger that response in you. And especially when it comes to business and moving forward in your business, when you know that you are the one that has a say in how you respond to an event, then you feel a lot more powerful. As I mentioned, if I would have had haters back, you know it 10 years ago, I would have responded a lot different than how I do now because I have taken control over the response to that event and haters are going to happen. But my response has changed because I’m the one in charge of that response. So bring your power back to you and do what you can to take charge of your responses. And when it comes to your business, you have the power to change that response in all of the events that happen. You get to choose how it feels to you what words you say to yourself when it happens. And guess what, when something doesn’t feel the way you want it to feel. You have the power to shift that emotion to.

So really all this to say you’re in charge. Let’s get back to remembering who’s in charge here. Yes, you are the CEO of your business, but you’re also the CEO of your mind. So let’s remember that these events don’t have to hurt. They don’t have to be scary. They don’t have to be hard. You have the tools to move through and calm that emotion, calm that feeling calm those thoughts. You get to decide you have the power. And so if you’re someone who has been working with this fear of visibility, maybe it’s something that you didn’t even know was happening until today. Totally fine. Regardless, I see you and yes, the pun is intended there. I see you with your fear of visibility, but I know how it feels I’ve been there. There are still parts of my my own mindset that I’m working through this fear of visibility, that’s normal, that’s okay. But I don’t want you to not try for success because of this fear, to not go after what you really want, because of this fear. And I don’t want you to because now we know that you’re in charge of that. These are two separate things, you can put yourself out there. And it cannot be scary, because you are the one in charge of how that feels of how you take that situation on. So what can you do to move past that, to shift it to dissolve it? And like I said, like, I will always say, one of the best ways of all time, is to do it anyway, is to push through and do it because as soon as you do it, he’ll realize, in most cases, it’s like, and I’m talking like 99.999% of cases. It’s not what you thought it was going to be, what you thought was going to happen, didn’t happen, and won’t happen, and then it dissipates. But one thing I know for sure, for every single one of you listening is that you have too much to share with this world to just continue keeping it to yourself. It is time to show up as the you that you are, shine your light. Share your gifts, share your knowledge, share your experience, so that you can help others in the way that you’re meant to. I encourage you just to show up and be yourself and see what happens. I promise. It’s not as scary as it sounds. All right. I will leave you with that my friends, and until next time, take care

Transcribed by https://otter.ai


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Hey there, I'm Shawn!

I’m obsessed with nitro cold brew, 90% dark chocolate, and helping coaches and practitioners build a business they love. With nothing but a passion for helping others and the desire to never have a boss again, I quit the corporate world and built my own million dollar coaching business over the past decade. Now, I help others do the same.


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