Let’s have a serious conversation. Let’s talk about the fear, doubt, and the impostor syndrome, something most new entrepreneurs feel in their business.
In this episode, I shared excerpts from the book Choose Wonder Over Worry by Amber Rae. This will help shift your perspective and look at the other side of what you’re feeling.
When you can build self-esteem instead of looking to the outside environment when you can applaud yourself, when you can choose yourself, you can overcome your fear.
What you’re feeling inside of you, doesn’t have to be negative. The fear, the worry, the doubt, doesn’t have to mean don’t, it doesn’t have to mean stop. Listen to this episode to learn more.
“There is not anyone on this planet that is immune to this ego voices, that is immune to fear and worry and that is afraid to step out of their comfort zone.” – Shawn Mynar
“We have to start looking at how can we use our emotion and thoughts that actually propel us forward.” – Shawn Mynar
“Self-love is important, is paramount, is critical to having the successful business that you want.” – Shawn Mynar
“It is your choice what you believe inside your head.” – Shawn Mynar
Choose Wonder Over Worry by Amber Rae – https://amzn.to/2VEtKcL
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FULL EPISODE TRANSCRIPT BELOW:
Hey, Hey there friends, Shawn here. And this is a best of episode of The unstuck entrepreneur podcast, where I’m taking the most popular most talked about most important episodes of the past, and bringing them back for an encore presentation. So enjoy the replay of this episode, and I’ll be back in a few weeks with another new episode and fresh topic.
I’m Shawn Mynar, and this is unstuck a space for heart centered entrepreneurs to implement both the inner work and outer strategies required to get unstuck and build the impactful profitable business of their dreams, no hustle, grind, or long hours required. Let’s get into today’s session.
Hey, hey there, friends. Welcome back to the unstuck podcast. Thank you all for joining me for tuning in for subscribing, for downloading for all those things that you do to help this show be what it is, I am so grateful for all of you. Today, we’re going to do things again, a little bit different because I’m still on a little bit of a hiatus from content creation. Actually, when you’re listening to this, when it airs, I’m on my first vacation in two years, because of course, the world’s shut down. So vacations weren’t really a thing for a long time. And so now I’m taking a little bit of a breather away from my computer with my family and just having a really good time. And I actually get to see the ocean, which I haven’t in two years either. So really pumped for that, and still kind of unwinding from the launch a few weeks ago of unstuck entrepreneur, and all of the content creation that if you have done a launch, you know is part of that process. And so I wanted to take a little bit of a break from doing that. But in the process, what I want to do today is actually showcase a piece of content that I think you guys will absolutely love that you absolutely need in your life. And I just want to pull some some information from that and and speak about what comes up when I say those words to you. But first, let me give you a real life story. That is what brought about this podcast episode. I wasn’t planning on recording this kind of episode, even a few days ago. But because of things that happen in my own life, I decided it was the time. So let me tell you, let me set the scene with that story. It was Saturday night, I was flipping through the abundance of cable channels that I have available to me right now. And most of you know and if you don’t only fill you in, we are currently living temporarily with my mother in law in her lower level, she has an entire part of her house that she doesn’t use at all. So we moved in a few months ago, because we sold our condo at the height of the craziness that is the real estate market right now and couldn’t find a place to live. Just crazy low inventory, ridiculous price hikes just not a good situation that we wanted to put ourselves in. So we are waiting out. And things are definitely taking a turn lately and we’re seeing some normalcy in the market. So we’re getting close to being able to find our dream home just maybe a few more months that I think I think I can make it I think I can do it. But anyway, I haven’t had access to cable I haven’t it hasn’t been something that is something I want. For many, many years. My mother in law does have cable, and there’s so many channels available these days. But here I am off track. What I want you to know is I happen to find that the notebook was on one of these cable channels. So I caught the last 45 minutes of the notebook, which back in the day used to be one of my favorite movies. And so I’m watching it, my wife is in and out watching it kind of interested but kind of not not really her thing as much as mine. And if you’re not familiar with a notebook, if you haven’t ever seen it, I’m not going to explain the whole thing because it doesn’t really matter. But the key point that is important to this story is that the man there is a man I don’t want to give away who it is, is reading a story to a woman. And so they’re reading the story in present day and then they go back and kind of play out the story as the movie. That’s all you need to know. So anyway, then my wife and I go to bed and I’m like hey
Let me read to you, I’m a big reader, she has her moments sometimes is into it sometimes isn’t. Let me, let me read to you, we’ve done it in the past, I actually really like reading out loud. And she likes listening. So it was, it’s a good mix. So I start reading the book that I am currently reading, which is what is going to be the focus of our episode today. And it’s called choose wonder over worry, by Amber Ray, we have had this book on the shelf for over a year, at least probably two or three years, whenever it came out. My wife is a fan of amber ray. So as soon as this book came out, she grabbed it, I don’t know if she actually read the whole thing if I’m being totally honest. But for whatever reason, after looking at this book on the shelf, for years and years, I finally decided to pick it up and start reading it. So when it’s time for me to read to her, I’m on the chapter about envy. And just to give you a little background of this book, it is probably the best book that I have read and I have read a lot, a lot of personal growth, self development types of books, like I love them, I think they’re great. Obviously, they enhance the message that I’m able to share with you here. So it’s almost like helping, it’s almost like studying for what I’m interested in and what I’m doing in my business and in my career. But I love it too. And this book is the best, I just love how it is laid out. I love her personality and how and she infuses that in the book. It’s just it’s so good. It’s casual, but it also is deep at the same time. I highly recommend it, which is why I’m spending a whole podcast episode talking about it. And why I will continue to encourage you to get your hands on this book. This is not sponsored, Amber Ray doesn’t know I’m talking about this, I don’t think she’s gonna mind don’t think I’m doing anything illegal here by talking about her book. She has no idea this is happening. But this is how much I love this book. So anyway, we’re in bed Saturday night, and I start reading the chapter on envy, I get a few pages in and I stopped because you know, after a few pages, it’s like I don’t think I need to keep reading out loud. But this prompts and pretty emotional conversation between me and my wife, which I’m obviously not going to get into the details. That’s personal stuff. But what you need to know is that she is in the process very, very close to like within a matter of weeks, launching a new business and new concept, something she’s never done, just like everything about it is very new, very fresh, very scary. There’s a lot of unknowns, she is starting from this kind of low point where she will have to develop her skills, develop her talent developed her knowledge as she goes. And there are people in this space who have been doing it for 10 plus years that she’s kind of watching and seeing what they do. And of course in the process, comparing herself to those people. So since she is weeks out from launching this thing, and has been working for so long on getting it up to speed and getting everything ready. And all it has already had a ton of hurdles to go through. And she has gotten through them. Her voices in her head are getting louder and louder. And what is coming up the most from her and these voices is imposter syndrome, and fear and worry and all the things that we talked about here so much on unstuck, and the ego voice, that inner critic voice that does make itself known quite often in all of us. And it is so common to just something to just know is going to happen. As you get closer and closer and closer to doing something scary to putting yourself out there to getting out of your comfort zone. They get louder and louder and louder. And so this conversation I had with my wife led me to start thinking, Hey, maybe I should have a similar conversation on the podcast and just have this open dialogue, this open a message to all of you out there that are dealing with fear, myself included. There is not anyone on this planet that is immune to those ego voices that is immune to fear and worry and that is afraid to step out of their comfort zone to try something new to potentially fail at
this new thing. So this is a conversation about that. And I want to use this book choose wonder, over worry as a conduit to help along this conversation, because that’s exactly what we did my wife and I, that prompted this really important conversation that we needed to have. And it really gave my wife the space to be able to talk about it to be able to put words to it, and and acknowledge what was really going on within her. So I’m going to take a few paragraphs of the book and read them to you here, and then just kind of pick out some of the key pieces that I really want to make sure to leave you with, and how they can show up and how they can look in your life. Okay, so I’m going to start with the chapter on envy. Like I mentioned, that was what I read to my wife. And this paragraph in particular, I think is really powerful and really got my wife thinking and may also do the same for you.
All right, what came next was the difficult work of learning to love and applaud and choose myself. It was only through doing this that I finally learned how to cultivate a sense of self esteem. And for me, that came when I showed up at the page, every single day, it came when I focus on the projects that lit me up, rather than where they would lead me. It came when I measured myself, not against them. But instead against where I was last week. It came when I learned to see my envy as inspiration of what’s possible, and their success as a signal that there’s room for us all. And when yet another person accomplished something that was still a seed inside of me, I learned to replace the worry voice that said, You’re behind with just keep going. And eventually why not me became if they can do it. So can I.
So a few things I want to point out here. First of all, obviously, we’re talking about a situation where she’s comparing her work to others, she’s feeling like she’s behind. She’s feeling like what’s the point, this is very much typical imposter syndrome, that the vast, vast, vast majority of us go through and have those thoughts and emotions around our work, especially when we’re just getting started and seeing and watching people that have been doing it for two 510 2030 years. And it ends up being this comparison trap that is just natural to get into. So please, if you are noticing that and yourself, don’t feel like that is a bad thing, or that is abnormal, or trying to shut it down without actually looking into it. It is normal, it happens to most of us. And it’s something that we have to start looking at in terms of how can we use that emotion and those thoughts to actually propel us forward. And so as Amber says, and this is what I love that most people don’t talk about, especially in the business world, is finding love for yourself. Yes, self love is important is paramount is critical to having the successful business that you want. Because like Amber says, when you can build self esteem, instead of looking to the outside environment, where you can applaud yourself when you can choose yourself.
And we do that by putting our investment, time, energy, money, whatever it is, by investing in yourself. By doing the work by showing up every day, as Amber said, she’s a writer, her big goal was to write this book that I now have in my hand. And it was something that was causing her to stumble quite a bit. It just was showing up to write every single day, page by page. For me, it is showing up for my business, figuring things out as I go. And that is how I now have gotten where I am in half now almost nine years into my business is just by showing up every day, little by little, not trying to look at the big picture and then looking at everyone else’s big picture that doesn’t look like mine yet and starting to compare starting to envy others it’s by choosing myself
off, it’s by you choosing yourself, it’s by you cultivating a sense of a love for yourself. For the work you’re doing for the impact, you want to make the income you want to make the life you want to provide for yourself, and whoever else you’re providing for. That is you showing up for yourself, that is you turning the tables and taking your eyes back on your own paper back on your own work back on your own journey and yourself, instead of looking to the outside to determine what it should look like what you should be doing, where you should be at how it should be going. All these shoulds that make up imposter syndrome, turning it back on you. And then another key piece of this paragraph that shows a really good example of things we talk about here a lot, which is the fact that you have the ability, it is your choice, what you believe inside your head, if you believe those voices that tell you you can’t, or if you believe the voices that tell you can which are also inside of you to just usually the voice that says that you can’t is louder, and it’s the one we listened to. But there is the other side, the truthful side as well. So as Amber says she was able to replace those voices that were saying that she’s behind, we’re saying that she can do this, why not me? Why am I not there yet? With the ones that say, just keep going? Just keep showing up.
And you have the ability, you have the power we all do to be able to do that for yourself. You are in charge here. What do you want to be saying to yourself every day when you show up for your business?
All right, next little paragraph that I want to share with you comes from the chapter on fear. It’s a little long, so bear with me. But just remember, I’m like Noah, reading to ally in the notebook. We’re doing that here on the unstuck podcast. Okay. It took me a long time to realize that when I’m afraid and when terror is pulsating through my veins, this is not a signal that something is wrong. Fear is not an enemy working against me, or a force that I need to go to war with and try to overcome. Fear has been wired in our systems for millions of years as a mechanism to keep us safe. The aim isn’t to undo our response to fear or try to change it. It’s to welcome it and learn how to have a relationship with it is to see fear as a reminder that we are alive. I just want to stop there real quick. I thought I was gonna read the whole thing. But let me just have a little intermission here. That is super important right here, we have to consider this. We are the ones determining that fear is this awful, scary enemy. But what if instead, fear is not a bad thing. Fear is just another signal. And maybe it could even be a signal that you are on the right path, that you are doing the right thing that something magical is on its way to you. So we have the power also to determine how we connect with fear what the translation is. And it doesn’t have to be a bad thing. And Amer goes on to reinforce that. So now we’ll get back into the paragraph. As a rule of thumb, the louder the voice in your head, the more you’re moving toward something worthwhile. If you felt fully confident and comfortable, you wouldn’t be stretching yourself and growing. You wouldn’t be moving toward creating a life that reflects who you truly are. When I’m stepping outside my comfort zone, it doesn’t feel very magical. At least not at first. It’s messy, uncomfortable, terrifying. The worry voices in my head start going haywire and screaming for safety. It’s when I second guessed myself, overthink everything, feel all the fields and want to run the other way. It’s why after I started my own business, I kept looking for jobs. It’s why a few pieces of harsh feedback caused me to put off pursuing a book for years. It’s why when I made a serious commitment and love, I freaked out. Eventually I realized that my anxiety and very loud and urgent worry voice yelling danger is the very clear signal that I am leaving my comfort zone. The point is not to escape the discomfort silence the fear or make the feelings go away. It’s to learn
To feel them, see them and move with them. And that is when the magic happens. The magic happens when we embrace and acknowledge all of our emotions, rather than try to push them away. The magic happens when we feel blindfolded and lost in the dark. And were just curious enough to see what lies a few steps farther, and a few steps farther. And a few more. The magic happens when we walk with fear, rather than flee from it, and see every moment of uncertainty and discomfort as an opportunity to explore the unconscious parts within us. As we learn to do this, the worthwhile vision tugging at our hearts will become real tangible, out from inside of us and into the world. And isn’t that the whole point to express who we are, and what we have to give? Oh my gosh, does that not just give you chills? That is such a powerful message, I hope just that what I just read shows you the kind of book that it is and how real the stories are, and how relatable she makes it out to be, please, please go get this book choose wonder over worry by Amber Ray. What I really love about what I just shared is, again, this message that what you’re feeling inside of you doesn’t have to be something negative, the fear, the worry, that doubt, it doesn’t have to mean don’t, it doesn’t have to mean stop. Instead, it actually means that you are in the right place that you are about to do something magical. And that you are about to share your gifts with the world in a brand new way in a way that is so powerful, and so needed. You are about to contribute to the world, what you have to offer, your purpose here, your passion, your experience, your expertise, your education, you as a business owner, whether you are just on the verge of starting your business and scared whether you have dipped your toe into building your business, but are still holding on to that safety net of a job you don’t love. Or whether you are fully invested in your business, and are on the brink of taking it to the next level or trying something different or expanding your offerings. All of that comes with fear comes with worry comes with doubt comes with impostor syndrome. And that is normal. And that is expected. And you are exactly where you should be you are experiencing exactly what we expect you to experience. But it’s how you translate that that makes the difference between whether you go after it and take the leap and do something magical. Or you stay stuck. You stay in your comfort zone. You keep telling yourself the stories that keep you from moving forward. And you believe those stories,
fear worry, impostor syndrome, and V. What if those feelings? What if those emotions? And what if the thoughts that are charged with those emotions aren’t meant to keep you standing still?
What if they are there to keep you moving forward anyway? What if they are the signs and signals that you are doing something important that you are creating a different life for yourself that you are starting a business that will surely succeed?
We have the ability to determine what those feelings mean, and what power those thoughts have over us. And all it takes. We talk about it all the time is knowing that that’s what’s going on. And using that power that you have because this is your life. This is your mind. These are your thoughts. You get to decide
to move forward, instead of standing still to come to your business every day with the intention to move forward. That is all it takes. And you do that over and over and over again. And then you have a business that is thriving and impactful and successful. And yes, you
don’t have fear almost every day, but you know what it means, you know, the message that it’s really trying to get across to you, which is keep going, which is you are on the verge of creating something magical, where you are on the right path. That is what we can do with the fear that we all feel as entrepreneurs. And this is not even just for business, we feel fear in so many different areas of our lives.
We can apply this to every scenario, where we are on the verge of doing something great for ourselves. And that voice tries to keep us back. And it only tries to keep us back, because that’s how you’ve interpreted it. So can it instead be something that propels you forward with even more passion, even more vigor?
I think it can. And this book is going to give you the tools to get you there. So once again, taking a backseat from my own content, and instead, guiding you to something I think would be really beneficial for every single one of you out there. If you are a reader, grab the book, choose wonder over worry by Amber Ray. If not, it’s on audio, I’m sure you can get on Audible or something like that. Check that out, too. All right, my friends. With that I will leave you while I head on vacation and have a few days off. But don’t worry, I will still be showing my dance moves over on my social media at unstuck Entrepreneur on Instagram. Yes, I have gotten to the point where not only am I loving creating reels, but I’m actually learning the trending dances on reels and doing them for public consumption. I don’t know what it’s gotten into me. But it’s super fun. And I really love it. And it gives me a new way to recreate content where you know, some of the stuff that we’re used to doing posting the pictures, posting the quotes, things like that, that we are used to doing on social media. Honestly, it’s, I think it’s gotten a little stale for all of us. And so for me, I just love that reels, give me a new way to share my work with the world in a really fun way. So that’s what I’m doing over there. Please be sure to follow if you’re not already at unstuck Entrepreneur on Instagram and send me a message while you’re there. slide into my DMs and introduce yourself. Let me know who you are, what you’re up to what kind of business you have or want to have. And we can chat about it. Alright, until next time, take care. If you’re like most of my clients, you followed your passion for health, got your certifications did the trainings. And now you’re excited to have your very own thriving impactful wellness business. But
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